The inclusion of a romance from her past that re-emerges and them eventually becoming a vee and then a triad solidifies this - and it's all done pretty well, with each of the three protagonists trying to tell the others that it's ok, they can pick the other and be happy, and other such monogamy-assuming things, and only a couple little speeches that veer into polyamory-lecture territory. The tradition of essentially marrying pilots to any women who survive more than a single battle forces her into a close relationship with this pilot, Li Shimin, and while there is the very direct and heavy-handed strictly feminist or women's liberation reading of their growing relationship, the nuances of the two of them grappling with his role in upholding a system that viewed her as disposable while he himself did not, and the two of them coming into a partnership intending to work against that system from within, is a pretty good allegory for non-normative relationships and intentionally building relationships in general. Our plot essentially begins when she instead uses a pilot as fuel and pilots the ship herself, becoming 'the Iron Widow' and requiring that the Army pair her with the strongest pilot.
Amazon's description of the book focuses on the feminist angle of the story - that Zetian, our point-of-view character, is out to upend a system that largely uses women and girls as supports for men's endeavors, including as literal fuel for the pilots and ships in the war against the aliens.
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